Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Hump Day Hook: Persephone

So those who follow me know that Persephone is the story I was working on for NaNo. I've talked about her, but I haven't yet given anyone on here a glimpse of her. So now, I'm here to do such a thing. She's been a WIP for only a short time, but both her, and her true love Adrian, have grabbed my heart. I hope they grab yours, too...

Do not have artist's permission, but this is
the picture that inspired Persephone.

By the time he returned to Adiron, Adrian’s horrible gut feeling had all his nerves wracked to snapping point, but he still couldn’t pinpoint what exactly was bothering him. He was unsettled, and decided not to push it. He’d back a bag with the excuse of going hunting for a few days. It wasn’t out of character for him, so he didn’t think he’d raise suspicion.
He paused in his room for long enough to jot down a note for Persephone, should anything happen. Adrian had already told her to head for the ocean but he wanted to explain some things further, and this feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach told him that he needed to write this letter.
With clothes packed, some food supplies and the dresses his mother had purchased for his bride to be on his behalf, Adrian loaded Gypsy’s saddle bags, tacked her up and mounted. He couldn’t wait until tonight to leave, and was regretting telling Persephone to go home. He’d packed the dresses because he didn’t intend to give her time to pack her own clothes. There was no time to wait, they had to go.
Mounting the grey Hanoverian, he nudged her forward, pausing to look around Adiron one last time before riding in to the forest towards Mythosandria at a canter.
It was only a few minutes later that he heard the shouting. Reining Gypsy in, he listened for the direction of the sound. He didn’t get time to pinpoint it, however, as Persephone came in to view, only a few steps ahead of an angry mob. Kicking Gypsy to a gallop, he quickly closed the distance and he pulled her up behind him. Before they could escape, the crowd began to surround them.
“I think I’m missing something,” he whispered to Persephone.
She was panting, trying to catch her breath but managed to reply. “They think I’m under some sort of spell.”
He tried to turn enough to look at her, and she took the hint to explain further.
“Malechai. He convinced them that the man who interrupted… you know, he convinced them that Daniel was a dark magician, perverting girls with his magick and that I was one of his victims. They”, she nodded towards the villagers pressing around them, “have instructions to bring me back alive, but they won’t be easy about it and will probably try to hurt you to do so.”
Gypsy whickered uneasily, side stepping and turning as she tried to find a way out. Adrian patted her neck, trying unsuccessfully to settle the mare. He scanned the mob, seeing no openings and so decided to try to forge his own path. As he approached a small group of people, a rock was thrown from the back of the crowd. He ducked and it sailed harmlessly over him. The next rock struck Persephone hard on the temple, and she was knocked off the horse. Adrian swung down to her side while Gypsy stood over them protectively. He held Persephone in his arms as blood gushed profusely from the wound on her head. The lucky shot that was surely aimed at him would have devastating results.
As her life blood drained from her, he knew it was time to reveal the truth to her, and if this crowd of people knew it too, then so be it. He didn’t care about rules anymore. Adrian lent down and kissed her near the wound, a long kiss that would give her everything she needed. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to tell you,” he whispered. “And I’m sorry that it’s going to be like this, but I won’t let you die.” As a tear ran down his cheek, he kissed her lips one last time.

For other blogs participating in Hump Day Hook, check out Kerrianne Coombes' blog! And don't forget to leave some love!


  1. Whew...very good Phoenix! I like it a lot. :)

  2. Thank you Michelle. I'm rather enjoying writing this one, though poor Persephone is having quite a hard time!

  3. Ooh, we can't go wrong with a heroine named Persephone.

    1. Yes, I do love her name! I have a few interesting names in the story, including a villain named Malachi. I can't wait to finish this and submit it, and see this baby out there!

  4. Ack!! Intense! I definitely want to see more. An angry mob is never good...

  5. Gotta love a fanatical, angry mob. Especially a fanatical, angry mob with good aim...

  6. So full of emotion. My heart breaks for him! Need more!

  7. Thank you, ladies. This one has broken my heart twice so far. Tears have been shed, but as it reaches its final battle, we'll see how things go.

  8. I'm worried for both of them. Angry mobs are never good. I'm definitely intrigued and would like to learn more about them.

  9. Thanks Ciaran. Hopefully you won't have to wait too long!

  10. Thanks Paloma. I'll be sure to make it a bit shorter next week haha I got a bit excited.