HANDLING A “TINGLING MONS” OR A “THROBBING COCK” --THE THIRD TIME AROUND By Charlie Kenmore

     When I was in college more years ago than I like to admit, I was a big movie fan. The film board ran double features on weekends, and film noire classics during the week. I went to a lot of movies. The film board published its schedule at the start of the year, listing all of the films and where the films would be shown. At the end of the schedule, just before the end of the second semester, however, was an annual entry, “To Be Announced”.  This was the annual X-rated film. The campus stretched over three municipalities. Depending on the political climate, the film might be scheduled in one town rather than the others.

  

    While no one would admit to anyone who wasn’t with them at the time that they went to the x-rated films, the films were well attended. By sophomore year, I worked out a fool proof method for detecting attendees. Each of the movies had roughly five to seven minutes of canned music that would repeat over and over in each sex scene. So all I had to do was whistle a few bars of the canned music, and watch to see who reacted.

     The U.S. Supreme Court has never defined obscenity. However, repeating the same five minutes of music over and over again in each sex scene probably is an integral part of any such definition. “So, Holmes, what does this have to do with handling a 'tingling mons' or a 'throbbing cock'--the third time around?” “Everything, Watson. Everything.”

     The Russians have a saying that “Repetition is the mother of learning.” As an editor, I have a saying, “Repetition is the mother of a rewrite.” Nothing causes eyelids to droop faster than reading the same descriptions over, and over, and over. This truism even, or perhaps especially, applies to sex scenes.

      If a tale is going to have more than one sex scene, then don’t be afraid to use a thesaurus. A penis may be a rock hard, throbbing rod in the first scene, a turgid, pulsating bar in the second, or even a palpitating, adamantine rhabdoid projection in the third (okay, maybe that’s stretching a bit). A vagina can be a hot, moist passage in the first scene, a lascivious, steamy tunnel in the second, or even a fabled treasure chest in the third. Everyone loves a little pussy, but no love is lost for a mons, a Mountain of Venus, a nub (not “numb” which I have corrected in at least three different works), or a love button.

     In sex scenes, “tingling” and “throbbing” appear with great regularity, albeit attached to different parts of the anatomy (“throbbing cock”, “throbbing mons”, “tingling pussy”, “tingling nipples”). Editing one’s own work is always difficult. But before submitting a piece, look for certain words that are used frequently. There is no need to rewrite the entire sex scenes. Just vary the descriptions. 

     Thanks for letting me ramble.

EARTH ANGEL By CHARLIE KENMORE

Blurb: There are seven parallel worlds known as the Seven Realms which are separated by a Veil. Six are inhabited by all manner of entities, some natural, some not. That may not be the case for much longer. The first portion of the High Sidhe Prophecy of the Sevens has been fulfilled. The Anarch, who is one with the Veil, has escaped. If she chooses, she can part or drop the Veil or she can lift the Veil in its entirety. The Seven Realms will converge. The laws of physics and magic will collide head on. Unless she is stopped, there will be nothing left.

Queen Amura has called for an assembly of the signatories to the High Sidhe's Second Accords, a multi-realm peace treaty to consider how to deal with the threat of the Anarch. An Earthside TechnoWitch and other dark forces also are  seeking to control the Anarch. Prince Dzhok (Jack), High Sidhe Ambassador Salash (Jack's oldest friendand lover), and Valkyrie Brunhilde set out to find and befriend the Anarch before all is lost.

Purchase Links: http://www.damnationbooks.com/book.php?isbn=9781615724840   (you have to register-free)

http://www.amazon.com/Earth-Angel-ebook/dp/B005KMQAA2/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1315450669&sr=1-1

http://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-earthangel-599934-140.html

Excerpt:

Jack took a moment, and then he saw the light. Unfortunately, it appeared to be attached to an oncoming train. Jack was no pacifist. Like Salash, he would kill to protect his children (and had). But as a pansexual high blood Prince of the Human Whisperers and Allied Kinds, "make love, not war" was not a mere platitude, but rather was the very core of his being. Jack knew that he would have little influence on the upcoming gathering in Paradox. This was not a symposium. It was a war council. The outcome was fairly certain. His Mother and her allies would seek to kill the Chosen. And they would fail miserably.

"We have to find her first."

"Exactly, Jack."

You've got mail.

Salash reached over and pulled the MAPP out of Jack's pocket. She rolled down her window, and with a flick of her wrist, sent it pin wheeling into a fresh steaming pile of bison dung. Salash paused and scanned the tree line. She was fairly certain at least one of the shadows had flinched.